Bucky Amsterdam and the Purple Bunnies of Lardoon

Welcome to another fantastic adventure of Bucky Amsterdam and Lulu Pickles! As you know, Bucky is an Interstellar Ranger from the Korda system. Lulu is his new partner, having just passed the academy training within the last year. Together they travel throughout Korda helping populations face emergencies and deal with threats, much like any other police force. This week’s adventure is the Purple Bunnies of Lardoon!

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We find our heroes in their Interstellar Ranger patrol cruiser, The Kessell 12 Sprocket. Bucky sits in the pilot’s seat, his aqua uniform neatly pressed, the gold trim sparkling as he reads their current assignment.

“Gosh, Bucky, where are we off to today?” asked Lulu Pickles from her co-pilot seat. She looked at him with great excitement, hoping for a grand adventure.

“Well, Lulu, we’ve received a distress call from the planet Lardoon. It appears that they have some kind of pest problem,” replied our hero, Bucky.

“A pest problem?” asked Lulu. “Why are they calling the Interstellar Rangers for a pest problem? Why don’t they get a regular exterminator?”

“Now, Lulu, you know the IR code,” Bucky says as he gives his partner that flashy smile and green-eyed stare that tells you he knows that you know the obvious answer to your own question.

“An Interstellar Ranger is always there to answer the call. They are always there to catch your fall. They come from everywhere to serve one and all,” they both intone while standing at attention with their right hand on their heart and their left hand, palm outward against their head in the official Interstellar Ranger salute.

“Gee, Bucky,” Lulu replies with a woeful expression on her face. “I was just hoping we could do something exciting and more meaningful. But,” she adds before her partner can respond, “A Ranger’s duty is to go wherever she’s called. So, let’s see what critters Lardoon is dealing with.”

“That’s the spirit Lulu!” Bucky says as he punches in the coordinates for the planet Lardoon. In no time at all our heroes land in the spaceport of the city of Loodra, the capital of the planet. They are greeted by the emperor Conseco III and his entourage.

“Thank you so much for answering our call Rangers Amsterdam and Pickles!” The emperor intones with outstretched arms to welcome Bucky and Lulu. “We were so relieved to hear that you were close by and able to help. Your reputation precedes you.”

“We are always happy to help the citizens of the Korda system no matter what their emergency might be,” Bucky answers as he greets the emperor with the official Interstellar Ranger salute. Lulu salutes as well, then they both bow politely. “Tell me Emperor Conseco, what is this pest problem you reported?”

The emperor and his followers escort the rangers to the palace where they share their awareness of the situation as it currently stands. It appears that some farmers out in the northern plains of Lardoon reported a noticeable reduction in their seasonal yield of frugga berries, the main export of the planet, which is also used in most of the foods on Lardoon. At first, the farmers consulted with the emperor’s scientists and weather experts to see if there was a natural explanation for the lower yield. There was no new weather phenomenon and the plants themselves were healthy. No insects or disease infiltrated the 40-foot orange frugga stalks. It just seemed like the blue-violet berries disappeared overnight. Local enforcement patrols even put the farms under surveillance to determine whether a gang of frugga berry thieves emerged. Nothing seemed to explain why the farms, though operating at their full capacities, were producing such small numbers of the crop. Finally, a group of the farmers voluntarily dug up patches of their farms to see if maybe there was a new kind of threat they had not yet faced. That is when they discovered the pests: small purple bunnies no bigger than a child’s hand.

“Just what is it that these bunnies are doing to the plants?” Lulu asked the emperor as all the reports were finished.

“We were hoping that you would be able to help us investigate further,” a scientist answered for the emperor. “The creatures appear to be utterly defenseless. They have no sharp claws, no pointy teeth. They don’t seem to be able to see well in anything but low light levels, and even then they don’t seem to be able to see far. We haven’t seen them jump or run or climb. It appears as if they survive through purposeful and patient digging around the frugga roots. We’re not even sure how they get the berries, but it seems obvious that they eat them somehow.”

Another scientist added, “We think that’s how they came to have purple fur. It’s possible that a steady diet of the blue-violet berries has leaked into the pigment of their natural coats.”

“Right now theses bunnies are a mere annoyance. Our current stores are manageable for the time being,” the emperor said as he looked at each person in the room in turn. “However, if this continues much longer, their actions will be truly injurious to our economy and our people will begin to go hungry.”

“You can count on us!” Bucky and Lulu promised. Our courageous duo hopped in a ground transport to investigate the northern plains farms firsthand.

“Gee Bucky!” Lulu exclaimed a little breathlessly as they approached a frugga farm. “Those stalks are absolutely amazing! I’ve never seen anything so tall and bright before.”

Bucky nodded, saying, “Yes sir, farm employment on Lardoon is a lot more prestigious than on some other planets, partially because of the hard work required, and partially because there’s something of a competition among the farmers to see who has the most impressive stalks each season. They take a lot of pride in their plants here. I guess that’s why they’re so keen to have us wrap up this bunny business as quickly as possible.”

Bucky and Lulu introduced themselves to the farmer of the first field they spied. She was very agreeable and tried to be as helpful as she could. It turns out that she was one of the ones who volunteered to dig up part of her fields to find the bunnies.

“Yes,” Peebles the farmer confirmed, “I agreed to dig up those frugga stalks over in the western part of my land. You can see the blank spot where I pulled up a few. I was actually a little happy to see the little purple bunnies down there. I’ve felt a lot of loneliness the last two seasons.”

“Oh, why is that?” Lulu asked Peebles.

“Well, my partner, Hedig, climbed one of the tallest frugga stalks we have here. It was out in the west side of the field. It was over 80 feet high. He said he wanted to try to measure it to see if maybe we could claim the tallest stalk that season. The thing is, though, Hedig never came back down. So I’ve been doing most of the work around here by myself, with a few hands coming by now and then. I was kinda hoping to raise the bunnies, as I don’t have any kids of my own. They are kinda cute.”

There was something deniable about her story, though. Bucky could feel it in his gut. “Are you testifying that Hedig just disappeared into the air at the top of a stalk? A stalk you happened to have dug up to find these purple bunnies?” he asked Peebles.

“Well, sir,” she replied, “everyone knows about the hardiness of the frugga stalks. The taller they grow, the thicker they get and the tougher, too. I just assumed that Hedig somehow found something at the top of the stalk that he didn’t want to leave.”

“Hmm,” Bucky intoned. “Did you happen to report his disappearance?”

“Well, no, I didn’t,” Peebles said in shock.

“And why was it that stalk you chose to dig up?” Bucky continued.

“Well, I…” Peebles stammered, “I didn’t really want him to come back,” she confessed. “I ordered this critter, a little white bunny, from a catalog. It was delivered two seasons ago, before Hedig made the climb. He didn’t want me to keep the bunny. He said it would cause trouble and I had enough work to do on the frugga farm. We fought and Hedig decided to climb to clear his head. Some of the berries fell to the ground and I fed one to my bunny. I guess this is all my fault.” Peebles broke down in tears as she told the rest of her story to Bucky and Lulu.

In their report to the emperor, the IR officers told how the frugga berries turned the bunny purple, but stunted its growth. The bunny grew addicted to the berries, turning deeper purple the more it ate. The berries also allowed the bunny to duplicate itself any time it was hit on the head, which happened frequently as the berries ripened and Peebles was not able to catch them all because she didn’t have enough help on her farm. The bunnies burrowed into the ground and began to spread to the other farms in the area. Some of them learned to raid the baskets and barns where the berries were stored after they were picked, then they would hide in their burrows so they wouldn’t be seen. As for Hedig, he did eventually come down from the frugga stalk, before Peebles dug it up, and he decided he was tired of farming altogether, so he hopped a transport to another city.

Lulu and Bucky organized a team of the local enforcement officers to round up all the purple bunnies. They were slowly weaned off the frugga berries, as they were fed more green plants such as grasses and clover. Without the frugga, too, the bunnies stopped duplicating when they were hit on the head. However, they did retain their purple coloring. Lardoon actually began exporting the bunnies as pets to other planets, so the economy was not hit as hard by the frugga berry shortage that year. The emperor thanked our heroes with a parade and a banquet in their honor.

Be sure to come back again to find out where our heroes’ destinies will take them and what other exciting adventures await Bucky Amsterdam and Lulu Pickles, Interstellar Rangers.

[Copy write 2014 Christina Guardino] 

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